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Keys to Open Communication with Children



"Mom, this computer game is so cool."

"Imagine if you had put in half of that enthusiasm into studying."


The child received: Mom does not like me talking about gaming.

"Dad, I just saw this really funny YouTube video."

"All you watch are just plain silly stuff. You should spend more time on something more constructive."


The child received: Dad does not like me talking about videos. Gradually, they might stop sharing whatever they find cool and interesting to you.

One fine day, parents notice: "How come you don't talk at all at home?"


We, as parents, are full of parental responsibilities.

We are anxious to "teach" our children.


But sometimes we forget that what our children are doing, is not to discuss the task or matter at hand, but just to share their feelings.


"Mom, this computer game is so cool." "Dad, I just saw this really funny YouTube video."

This is a child who is sharing to two of their favorite people what brings them joy. "Mom, OOO from my class is so annoying."


This is a child who is sharing about their unhappiness at school.


"Ugh! This math is so hard. I'm going to fail the test on Monday."


This is a child who is sharing about their frustration in a subject.



When adults get home from work, we might not necessarily want to talk about what happened at work.


Similarly, when children get home from school, they might not necessarily want to talk about what happened about school work and learning.


We need to prepare our hearts to embrace whatever our child is willing to share with us.


Remind ourselves, what our kids really want is for us to really actively listen to them to understand their feelings and experiences.


And that's more than enough for them.





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